Tories pledge free vote on right to punch people in the face who don’t prepare dinner

It should come as absolutely no surprise that Cameron is a supporter of fox-hunting. Oscar Wilde was absolutely right about it being a case of the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible.

And it also wouldn’t be the first time an aristo has complained about the state’s interference with his right to beat his servants. Way back in the reign of one of the Edwards, an anonymous ‘libel’ appeared in Norman French complaining about the law Edward I had passed banning the Norman lords from beating up their servants. It claimed that if this law was allowed to go unchecked, then free-born English nobles would have to go off to the green wood like Robin Hood, forced into hiding by an oppressive government that doesn’t allow toffs the freedom of slapping around the lower orders.

Pride's Purge

(satire?)

David Cameron has pledged a free vote in Parliament on punching people in the face who haven’t prepared dinner on time if the Conservatives win the General Election.

The Prime Minister’s pledge to allow a vote on the face punching ban if he has a clear majority after May 7, was last night hailed as the right move by campaigners.

Mr Cameron said he shares people’s frustration at the legislation outlawing the slapping of tardy food preparers in the kisser– which has now been in place for decades – and would like to see the ban repealed.

In a statement to the press, Mr Cameron said a free vote on the right to punch out the lights of anyone not having food ready on time was the right approach and Mr Cameron’s pledge – made in an article in the Countryside Alliance magazine – would mean there was a real possibility of the ban being overturned and…

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