Simon Webb Claims that the Haye-On-Wye Literary Festival is Dumbing Down with the Inclusion of Stormzy and Dua Lipa

More from our favourite internet non-historian. History Debunked put up a piece today criticising the Haye-on-Wye literary festival for heading downmarket in the name of diversity. They’ve had a change of director, and according to him, the festival has been judged to be ‘too White’. And so make it more inclusive, they have included the Black rapper Stormzy and Dua Lipa, another pop star, who’s of Albanian heritage. He argues that there are plenty of Black and ethnic minority writers, like Vikram Seth, who he says is miles better than other, White writers, but they tend to be quiet, thoughtful types and so not calculated to appeal to the new demographic the Festival hopes to reach out to. This is an ominous sign, according to Webb, because the inclusion of those two has started a trend in which literature will be second place.

Okay, so I did what Gillyflower has advised me to do, and decided to check what was actually going on at Haye-on-Wye. I took a glance at this year’s programme. There seems to be a number of the thoughtful, serious ethnic writers Webb talks about, including a Black author talking about his decades of writing on the topic of race. I didn’t find the event with Stormzy, but I did find the one with Dua Lipa. She’s there talking about her life and career, but the programme also says she champions books and reading on her Service 95 podcast. This puts a slightly different complexion on it than Webb’s discussion. She’s there not just because she’s a pop star, but because she’s also a literary woman as well. If there’s an issue there, it’s the same one as when Mariella Frostrup started presenting a literary review programme on the Beeb. Is the presenter too lightweight? Well, if it takes a popular media celebrity to get people to stick their noses into books, I don’t care. And it doesn’t mean that the people who go to see her won’t also go and see some of the other, more high-brow speakers. I can remember hearing Terry Pratchett talk at the Cheltenham Literary Festival years ago about how the directors of that festival looked on him with disdain as if he were going to talk about fixing motorcycles when he began speaking there. When the Discworld books came out there was massive sneering at them from the literary establishment, including the panel on the late Newsnight Review when Tom Paulin showed his real literary prejudice against genre fantasy. But this was just literary snobbery and Pratchett became, at least in my biased estimation, one of their most popular speakers. British culture didn’t fall because he spoke, and it hasn’t prevented me nor anybody else going to see some of the other, rather more serious speakers. I don’t think the inclusion of Dua Lipa will do the same to British literary culture either.

And if we’re on the subject of popular music, I notice they have a Jazz band playing. I know that Jazz now occupies the same highbrow cultural niche as classical music, with radio programmes about it like Late Junction and Freeness appearing on Radio 3. Duke Ellington was also their composer of the week a couple of decades ago. But Jazz is popular music with its own clubs, if now massively overshadowed by pop, rock and the other genres. But I can’t imagine anyone complaining that the Festival would be turned overwhelmingly towards Jazz instead of literature because of the band’s inclusion.

If there is a problem with the Haye-on-Wye Festival, it may well be the same one Private Eye’s literary column identified years ago with the Cheltenham literary festival. The complaint then was that a large proportion of the speakers were celebrities, such as TV personalities, who had written a book but did not make their main living from literature. People like, I presume, the actor David Walliams, who has written a string of children’s books. I haven’t heard that criticism repeated, so I assume that despite the influx of media celebs, British literary culture has still held firm. I don’t doubt that the Haye-on-Wye Festival will still uphold literary standards with the appearance of Stormzy and Dua Lipa. The Cheltenham Festival has held poetry slams which have included rap as well as British Afro-Caribbean poetry, and it’s still going on.

Sketches of Comedy Writers and Broadcasters Frank Muir and Dennis Norden

Frank Muir

Dennis Norden

Muir and Norden were a duo of comedy writers who together were responsible for some of the radio comedy hits of yesteryear. I think they may have started out with Take It From Here before producing possibly their best-known series, The Glums. This was their response to the one of the first British soap operas, Life With The Lyons. The Lyons were a very clean, respectable family. This was well before the gangsters, crims, adulterers and murderers now populating British and international soaps. Their answer to this was to create a comically horrible family. This consisted of the blokey Mr. Glum, played by Professor Jimmy Edwards, his gormless son, Ern played by Ian Lavender, and Ern’s girlfriend, Eth, played by June Whitfield.. Mrs Glum never appeared as a distinct character, except for growling heard coming from upstairs. The episodes usually began with Mr Glum in the pub. As the landlord rings the bell for last orders, Mr. Glum orders one last pint before recounting that week’s tale of comic woe to his cronies. The series was adapted for TV in the 1970s, the scripts were collected and published as a book, and the series is also available on DVD.

Apart from writing, the two also appeared on a number of TV and radio panel shows. Dennis Norden appeared on My Music, with three other singers and experts: John Amis, the opera singer Wallace, and Arthur Marshal. After his death, Marshal’s biography appeared in the book Three Gay Lives, along with two others. This revealed that during the War, Marshal had been part of a team sent to hunt down one of the leading Nazis – I think it may have been Himmler. Marshal himself commented wryly that he was a strange choice for such a project. He had a gentle, camp manner, but appearances can be deceptive. Sometimes the men with gentlest or most camp demeanour can be some of the toughest. But possibly not in Marshal’s case. Norden was a specialist in the peculiar hits of yesterday. I particularly remember a hilarious rendition he gave of the 30s pop song, ‘I Love Me (I’m Wild About Myself). This has stayed with me so much, that when I found the sheet music for it in a secondhand shop in Cheltenham, I immediately bought it.

Muir and Norden also appeared together on another BBC 2 show, Call My Bluff. In this show, two teams competed to present the definitions of obsolete words. Three were given for each word, but only one was correct. The object was to deceive their opponents into choosing the wrong definition, while guessing the right meanings themselves. Both My Music and Call My Bluff were originally broadcast in the evening. After the original series of Call My Bluff ended, it was later revived as an afternoon show.

They also appeared on another panel show, this time on the radio, My Word. The teams were given a famous saying or literary quote and asked to make up a story inspired by it, ending with a pun on the original saying. In one edition, they were given the phrase, ‘The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. This was turned into a story about how tall men have small wives, who stop them getting to sleep at night with their snoring. This culminated in the pun, ‘The massive men need wives of quiet respiration.’ In yet another edition, they were given the line from Pepys’ diaries, ‘And so to bed’. This inspired a very convoluted story which produced the final, punning line, ‘And saw Tibet.’ These stories and their inspiration were also collected and published.

I also remember that Dennis Norden also had his own afternoon show in the 1970s, in which he took the audience back to the cinema of yesteryear. But the films he chose were obscure, rather than the big cinema successes, and he definitely had a taste for entertaining B movies. These were often films so bad, they were entertaining. One of these was a fifties movie which featured a great White hunter staggering out of the jungle before collapsing. As he did so, a voice intoned, ‘He came out of the jungle drained of man’s essence’. I think the story was about how he’d been captured by a tribe of women, who then banged him till he escaped utterly exhausted. This seems to have been part of a series of films of the time in which male explorers stumbled on all-female societies. This was a particular favourite in Science Fiction. There was one about earthmen landing on such a female society on Venus, and another one where the matriarchal society was on one of the moons of Jupiter or Saturn. Hammer also contributed to this particular theme with the 1948 Devil Girl From Mars. In this flick, a Martian woman lands on Earthy on a mission to kidnap men for use as breeding stock on her homeworld. As the taste for such terrible movies increased and they became a genre in themselves, Badfilm, aided by the Medved brother’s Golden Turkey Awards and Michael Medved’s 1980s Channel 4 series, The Worst of Hollywood, this film was reissued on DVD in the ’90s. I wonder if these films were part of crisis in masculinity caused when men returned from the War to find that women had taken over their roles in industry and society when they had been away fighting. One of the other films he commented on was Glen/Glenda or I Changed My Sex. This was a tale of one man’s struggle with his transvestism. It’s quite a daring subject, considering the very conservative morality of the time. It could have been done well if intelligently handled. A few years ago, the Beeb broadcast an autobiographical play by ceramicist and transvestite Grayson Perry, Mr. Misunderstood, about how his own shame and struggle over his crossdressing. However, Glen/Glenda was one of the demented products of Ed Woods, whose films have become bywords for spectacularly bad films. His Science Fiction outing, Plan 9 From Outer Space, about UFOs invading Earth and causing zombies to rise from their graves, was voted the worst film of all time. I think its place may now have been usurped by the recent Badfilm, The Room. Glen/Glenda isn’t that bad, but it does boast leaden dialogue, a dream sequence in which furniture moves about for no reason, and Woods’ friend Bela Lugosi, appearing as God, saying, ‘Dance to this, dance to that, but beware of the little green dragon sleeping on your doorstep.’

Later Norden starred as the presenter of the long-running show presenting hilarious bloopers and outtakes, It’ll Be Alright on the Night. This started in the 1970s but has continued to appear sporadically ever since. Since Norden’s death it’s been presented by Griff Rhy Jones and David Walliams. Muir had a rather impish sense of humour. In a Christmas article in the Radio Times one year, he described a trick he liked to play at that time of year on his relatives north of the border. He’d include with the Christmas card a completely made-up quote from Rabbie Burns, and chuckle at them trying to work out which one of the works of Scotland’s national poet it appeared in. His voice also appeared in a comic TV advert for fruit and nut chocolate. This had him singing ‘Everyone’s a Fruit and Nutcase’ to the tune of one of Tchaikovsky’s classics.

Muir and Norden in many ways were highly influential figures in the development of British comedy and their programmes were very witty. The gentle humour of their panel games now seems to me to be a world away from today’s much more savage and cutting humour of satirical shows like Mock The Week, The Last Leg and Have I Got News For You, at least when that first came out.

‘I Love Me (I’m Wild About Myself’ was a vaudeville song recorded in 1923 by Irving Kaufman of the Avon Four. I found this original recording of it on Daniel Melvin’s channel on YouTube. I hope you enjoy its comic absurdity.

I also found these two versions of the Fruit and Nut advert on YouTube. This one’s from IanLucey1972’s channel.

And this from Findaclip.

Sexual Assaults by the Rich Elite at the President’s Club Banquet

The news today has been full of the sexual assaults, including an incident of indecent exposure, of the hostesses at the banquet in aid of charity at the President’s Club. Tickets for the bash cost £5,000. It was a men-only event, hosted by David Walliams, and billed as the most ‘un-PC event’. The hostesses, who wore ‘skimpy’ black uniforms, were subjected to groping, had hands shoved up their skirts, propositioned and some of the men tried to drag them onto their laps. One of those, who attended was the Tory minister Nadhim Zahawi. Walliams claims that he did not see any of the assaults on the young women.

I’m not surprised this has occurred. It was a single-sex event, and one of the prizes was an evening at a lap dancing club, in which the first dance would be free. It was a gathering of oversexed, rich, powerful men, who clearly believed that they could do what they liked. This was regardless of the changed attitudes towards such behaviour and the mass outrage against sexual predators in film and television, industry and general society. It came after the massed women’s marches against sexual assault and exploitation in America, and elsewhere, including London, last weekend. But these entitled men clearly didn’t think it applied to them, and they could carry on as they pleased.

My guess is that this behaviour has been carrying on for years. It’s just that now it’s become front page news, and women are organising and vociferously demonstrating against it. It also reminds me of a comment by one of the contributors to Lobster. The writer had a friend, who had attended a meeting of high level bankers in America. The writer asked him what they were like.

‘Worse than you can possibly imagine’, his friend replied.

That tells you everything you need to know about the attitudes and antics of the super-rich, when they think no-one else is watching.

UKIP: Not So Much Trumpton, More Little Britain

Little Britain: Is this the real source of UKIP’s policies?

I found this report by the anti-Fascists over at Hope Not Hate on another bug-eyed rant from the Kippers very revealing. It’s from way back on the 18th May last year, entitled My rivals should be hanged for treason, says Ukip candidate, and covers a story in the Torygraph. One of the Kippers’ candidates for that month’s election, Gordon Ferguson, had declared that Labour, the Lib Dems and the Conservatives had all condemned Britain to slavery inside the EU dictatorship. He stated that they should be tried for treason, and sentenced to death. Moreover, their voters should also be tried and punished, because they were guilty of treason by association.

The nutters were most definitely out in force that month.

Some mischievous individuals on the net have been sending UKIP up with a series of posts about the weird adventures of UKIP’s Trumpton branch. This has annoyed Farage, and delighted just about everyone else who isn’t a fan of Fuhrer Farage and his stormtroopers, but is a fan of the awesome children’s toy town TV series, narrated by the maestro of children’s TV, Brian Cant.

It is, however, almost beyond parody itself. It’s almost identical to a line from David Walliams’ and Matt Lucas’ long running comedy, Little Britain, narrated by that other maestro of British high weirdness, Tom Baker. Every episode begins with an overblow panegyric to this ‘sceptre’d isle’. One week’s episode opened with Baker declaring, ‘Britain! Britain! Britain! … Anyone taking a foreign holiday ought to be tried for treason!’

It isn’t quite Ferguson’s comment, but it’s very nearly there.

Which raises the question: do Kippers watch Little Britain, and think the weird antics on there are a reflection of the real world?

The Hope Not Hate article is at: http://www.hopenothate.org.uk/ukip/my-rivals-should-be-hanged-for-treason-says-ukip-candidate-3764.