UK’s first hedgehog conservation area planned for Parliament’s native population of pricks

There is, however, a major difference between hedgehogs and the Tory party: people like hedgehogs. They’re cute, snuffling around in the garden. People like them and leave saucers of milk out for them. They’ve also inspired the classic characters of children’s literature, like Beatrix Potter’s Mrs Tiggiewinkles. She’s so popular, you can buy novelty pottery figures of her.

There is absolutely nothing cute or loveable about the modern Tory party, however. Their spines, when you can find ’em, are tipped with pure poison, and you wouldn’t want them pottering around in your garden. You could, however, imagine them eating slugs and other invertebrates. After they were cooked at the Ritz by a cordon bleu chef, of course.

Pride's Purge

(satire?)

A project centred around the Houses of Parliament to create the UK’s first dedicated hedgehog conservation area is being established, as part of efforts to maintain and preserve the large populations of pricks who reside there.

The Wildlife Trust’s scheme, funded by the British Hedgehog Preservation Society, will also work with the local community to raise awareness of the plight of Britain’s largest native pricks.

Westminster residents and volunteers will be encouraged to help construct hedgehog-friendly measures in and around both Houses of Parliament, such as small holes in walls and fences through which the spineless creatures can forage, seek shelter and rendezvous with potential mates.

duncan smith1a prick

The announcement comes just weeks after ornithologists discovered a pair of Great Tits, who have taken up residence in Downing St, as well as an increasing number of cocks which have been making their homes in government departments over the last 5 years.

a cocka Great Tit

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