Laughing at UKIP and Britain First

I found these jokes about UKIP on the Facebook pages Britain Furst and Britian First, parodying the Fascist splinter group, Britain First. This new squad of stormtroopers claim to be non-racist, but in fact split off from the BNP. Their policies are, of course, militant super-patriotism, and a hatred of immigrants and Islam. They also specialise in fraud and raising money under false pretences, and tastelessly exploiting the vicious murder of Lee Rigby to push their own anti-Islamic views. The Angry Yorkshireman over at Another Angry Voice has an excellent article demonstrating that they are indeed, Fascists, ’12 things You Should Know about Britain First’, whatever they claim to the contrary at He has also put up a previous post detailing why he has reported them to the Electoral Commission, because of their misleading advertising. They use issues like animal cruelty to advertise themselves, without mentioning that they are a political party, so that many of the genuine animal lovers who may donate to them are probably unaware that they are a bunch of Fascists. The article’s ‘An Open Letter to the Electoral Commission’, at

The two parody sites have also taken a pop at the racism and xenophobia in UKIP, which is desperately trying to shake off its reputation as the ‘BNP-lite’. Despite Farage’s assertion that they are a non-sectarian and non-racist party, they certainly seem to contain more than their fair share of racists and xenophobes. The stormtroopers of Britain First only managed to put up two candidates at the election, both in Wales, and so urged their supporters in the rest of the UK to vote for UKIP. Hence the parodies of the latter party on the two satirical sites. Here are some of the jokes they put up as a response.

This was posted by Julian Brown on Britian First:

UKIP Foreigner

Those of us who grew up in the ’80s may remember their song, ‘I want to know what love is’, which had the lines, ‘I want you to show me’.

‘Britian First’ themselves post this one, with following explanation:

Now we all know my felings on Nigel farade ( clue : hes a LEFTIE LIBERAL ) but when he did that interveiw last week i thought he exelled himself !! He said what were all thinking and if you say you werent thinking what Nigel was thinging then youre clearly lieing !! But how do you know weather youre neighbers are Romanien or German ?? Well , heres a czech list ( Gerrit ?? ) to find out !@!

Britian First UKIP

Then there’s this from Britain Furst. This refers back to David Icke’s bonkers idea that the world is secretly run by a conspiracy of Reptoid aliens, who have passed themselves off for thousands of years as members of our ruling elites. This includes members of the royal family and, er, Ted Heath, the former Conservative Prime Minister. In an interview on an internet radio show, Icke stated that in the 1980s he was called on to do a television interview. Entering the dressing room, he found Ted Heath already there. Icke greeted him, but the veteran Tory politician said nothing, but coolly looked him up and down. As he did so, he betrayed his reptilian nature as his eyes went completely black.

I think this story says more about the possible lighting conditions in TV dressing rooms, and the bizarre state of Icke’s own mind and the fallibility of human memory than it ever does about the supposed reptilian nature of Tory politicos. There are indeed many reptiles on the Tory benches, but sadly, none of them come from outer space and their cold-blooded nature is only metaphorical.

Britain Furst UKIP

Britain Furst is at, while Britian First can be found at They’re both strongly recommended if you love laughing at Fascists and want to stop them by making them look more ridiculous than they already are.

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13 Responses to “Laughing at UKIP and Britain First”

  1. Mike Sivier Says:

    Reblogged this on Vox Political.

  2. jaypot2012 Says:

    Pathetic little men…

  3. jaypot2012 Says:

    Reblogged this on Jay's Journal and commented:
    What a waste of space these idiots are…

  4. Tadge Says:

    Fascists, eh. Look no further than the big three. Anyone who wants to retain any semblace to our once great country and its freedoms is automaticaly classed as fascist. Anyone who stands against female genital mutilation and the like is classed as racist. Strange world in what we live..

  5. maxjfreeman Says:

    Love the SLATUKIP site, always first on the nose with the kippers. My take on naughty Nigel and his night time no no’s!

  6. amnesiaclinic Says:

    You refer to David Icke’s idea about reptilian humanoids running the world as “bonkers.” Out of interest, what have you read yourself of David’s work and what research have you done yourself? Many of his themes and ideas are spot on but the corporate media slate him as “bonkers”. How convenient. I wonder why?

    • beastrabban Says:

      Hi Amnesiaclinic – I’ve read a lot about Icke, including reviews of his books The Robots’ Rebellion, I Am Free, I Am Me and so on, as well as a chapter from one of them published waaaay back in the ’90s in the now defunct UFO magazine, ‘UFO Reality’. That last was so bad, it really did astonish me just how poorly researched it was. In it he was outlining his beliefs that the ancient gods were really alien imposters trying to control humanity.

      Now this is an, ahem, remarkable viewpoint, but it’s pretty much what Erich von Daniken has been saying for donkey’s years. And even then, it’s not original. Gareth Medway, one of the long time contributors to the sceptical UFO magazine, ‘Magonia’, has written an excellent, really well researched article on the origin of the theory that God is a space alien. It should be online at the Magonia archive, and I recommend that you check it out. Incidentally, Medway himself is hardly a tool of the establishment. If I remember rightly, he’s a member of one of the new, Pagan religions. Going back to the ’90s, he wrote a piece on the history of moral panics about supposed sects of Satanists abusing children, ‘The Lure of the Sinister’, as a response to and refutation of the stories of Satanic Ritual Abuse that never, in fact, occurred.

      Icke in his account of space aliens supposedly masquerading as gods makes some extremely basic mistakes. For example, he treats ‘Yahweh’ and ‘Jehovah’, as two distinct Gods, and suggests that they were impersonated by two different aliens. He doesn’t realise that they’re both ways of transliterating God’s name, ‘YWH’, in Hebrew. You aren’t supposed to pronounce God’s name in Judaism, and so in the Middle Ages the Jews inserted the vowels for ‘Adonai’, ‘Lord’, into the consonants, so that they could pronounce it when reading the Bible. But Icke didn’t understand that. He also referred to the ancient Indian god, ‘Indira’. As far as I know – and I’m not a Hindu – there isn’t an Indian deity of that name. There’s an ancient Indian god called ‘Indra’, who’s mentioned in the Vedas, the ancient Hindu scriptures, but not one called ‘Indira’. ‘Indira’ was, however, Mrs. Gandhi’s name.

      As for the origin of religion and the world’s differing mythologies, there’s an awful lot of debate about that, ranging from 19th century style scientific reductionism, such as religion is a biological adaptation that ensures reproductive fitness, as the Darwinists would have it, to the beliefs of religious people themselves, that it has its origin in genuine supernatural or transcendental experiences. And there are all shades of opinion in between. The problem with the ‘ancient astronaut’ theory is that none of the evidence that has been brought out for it stands up to scrutiny. For example, in one of von Daniken’s books, he states that the Egyptian island of Elephantine was so-called, because it looks from above like an elephant. How could the ancient Egyptians have known what it looked like from above? Because they had seen it from space! Er, no. It was called ‘Elephantine’, not because it looked like an elephant, but simply because it was an important depot for the ancient ivory trade from Africa to Rome.

      Equally wrong is Icke’s claim that the world’s elite can trace their bloodlines back to ancient Sumeria. Now, I’m pretty sure that some of the more pompous members of the aristocracy probably do believe they can trace their ancestry that far. In reality, no. Sumeria was a lost civilisation until it was discovered in the 19th century, by Layard and a number of the other pioneering archaeologists. It had fallen about 2,000 B.C. before the ancient Babylonians and Assyrians, whose languages and civilisations were also only really rediscovered at the same time. So no member of the aristocracy can credibly claim an unbroken line of descent all the way back to ancient Mesopotamia. You can go back pretty far: there’s been research demonstrating that the French surnames ending in -nac or -gnac, as in the cognac, Armignac, are those of the 4th century late Roman aristocracy from Gaul, what is now France. But that’s it. And if you look at most members of the British aristocracy, their lineage doesn’t extend that far back at all. In fact most date, I would hazard a guess, from after the 14th century, for the simple reason that in the Middle Ages noble families had quite a high extinction rate as they kept getting killed in wars.

  7. beastrabban Says:

    To continue. If the only problem with Icke’s books were that they were simply wrong, there’d be no particular problem. He’d just be another person with bizarre views about alien civilisations, not particularly weirder than some of the things I’ve read in the Daily Mail, and a lot less offensive. I mean that. One of the articles the Mail ran in the ’90’s was about how there had been an alien civilisation on Mars which had been wiped out by comets, but not before they’d travelled to Earth to build Stonehenge to warn us of the same fate. It’s wrong, but not offensive. The problem is that Icke incorporated some genuinely dangerous material in it.

    In the ‘Robot’s Rebellion’ he reproduces a passage from the notorious forgery, ‘The Protocols of the Elders of Zion’. This is supposed to be the minutes of an insidious Jewish plot for world domination. It’s completely false. It was forged by the Okhrana, the tsar’s secret police, to convince Nicholas II to persecute the Jews even more. It’s been the inspiration for Fascist movements across the globe. And it is very definitely a forgery. It’s ultimately based on a French 18th century political parody sending up autocratic politics. Now it appeared once again in the American Right-wing conspiracy fringe in the ’90s, at about the same time Icke was writing his stuff about Reptoids, with some of the people, like Bill English, who were spreading stories about the American government having done secret deals with aliens from Zeta Reticuli for world domination. English in his book ‘Behold a Pale Horse’ goes off to say that the Trilateral Commission base their flag on the ‘Trilateral Ensign’, which is the flag of these aliens from Zeta Reticuli. Icke took over all this stuff, including the material from the ‘Protocols’, but added the proviso that where it said, ‘Jews’, it really meant, ‘Illuminati’, which meant these Reptoid aliens.

    Which means that Icke now has a reputation as an anti-Semite. I don’t know if you saw the Jon Ronson documentary series, ‘Them: Adventures with Extremists’, on Channel 4 all those years ago, but it showed a demonstration against Icke when he went to speak in Canada. A crowd showed up at the airport angry at this notorious anti-Semite entering their country. They then look extremely confused when Ronson, who I believe is Jewish, tried to point out that Icke when he talked about ‘the Illuminati’ didn’t mean Jews, but genuinely believed the world is run by Reptoids.

    So Icke isn’t just wrong, but he’s also mistakenly promoting some nasty, genocidally anti-Semitic material. Hence the outrage.

    Now, Icke does include some good stuff about the international elite manipulate the world, and he is a very, very good speaker. I’ve heard this said by people, who profoundly disagree with him. Unfortunately, this also means that the material he touches, even when it is absolutely true, is automatically suspect, because it comes from Icke.

  8. beastrabban Says:

    There’s a lot of material out there on Icke and his sources, from people who very definitely aren’t part of the Conservative mainstream. For material on Bill English and his stories about the Greys from Zeta Reticuli, try Donna Kossey’s Kooks, published by Feral House. On modern, neo-Nazi occultism, there’s Nicholas Goodricke-Clarke’s The Black Sun, as well as a articles in Lobster and Magonia.

    I’m sorry for posting this lengthy reply, but I thought you deserved a proper answer. And I don’t actually mean to sound dismissive either. A lot of people have wondered quite seriously about the possibility of aliens travelling here from the stars in the dim and distant past. There have been several papers published on it in the ‘Journal of the British Interplanetary Society’, which is an academic magazine for rocket and space scientists. It’s just that with Icke it’s got mixed up with some highly weird and potentially very dangerous nonsense.

    • amnesiaclinic Says:

      such as??

      • beastrabban Says:

        As I’ve pointed out, the Robot’s Rebellion includes quotations from the tsarist anti-Semitic forgery, the ‘Protocols of the Elders of Zion’.

      • amnesiaclinic Says:

        I think it is very sad that you are slating someone who you would agree with on many, many issues that you have covered very well. You do yourself a grave misservice in that you have only read ‘reviews’ of Icke’s books and then a whole chapter of a book and then believe you are in a position to slate the whole of his work. Very dangerous and exactly what the corporate media want. I believe it’s called divide and rule while everyone misquotes out of context missing the whole point of his work.
        That point is trying to connect the dots in a world where the whole of our perception and nature of our spirituality, not religion another tool of control and manipulation, which keeps the 0.001% ruling us and gradually shifting the whole of the wealth of this world through banking scams, austerity and massive surveillance in servitutude that makes Orwell seem like a sunday picnic while we fight among ourselves. Please read his headlines for a week and the articles he highlights and also read a whole book. I think that might be fair.
        Then please come back to me. In the meantime, having met him 4 times, been to 3 all day sessions and read most of his books cover to cover over the last 20 years I think I get his message of love, empathy, compassion justice, fairness and the fact that we are all one. The anti semitic smear is meaningless in this context and a very tired smear that you can find on youtube with an Israeli MK admitting how they use it to smear people to get their way.
        Thanks, Beastrabban. I do think it important.

  9. alterknitive Says:

    There’s also a FB Group called “Can a Cabbage get more likes than Britain first”, which I suggest everyone joins!

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