The six steps Nick Clegg must take to save the Lib Dems from oblivion:

Tom Pride offers some extremely painful suggestions for how Clegg can regain the trust of the electorate. This should be borne in mind by him or the any other politico who starts going on about how they made ‘difficult decisions’ and that their reforms are painful, but beneficial. Like the Tories under Thatcher with their slogan ‘Yes, it hurt, yes, it worked.’ To which the answer is ‘No, it didn’t’, and ‘Not as much as nailing your private parts to the floor’.

Pride's Purge


The Guardian today offered 6 steps that Nick Clegg must take to help rebuild the Lib Dems before the next election.

Personally I don’t think they were anywhere near radical enough.

So here are 6 things I think Nick Clegg needs to do if the Lib Dems are to avoid further meltdown:

1) Nail his scrotum to the floor.

2) With one rusty nail for every year he’s been in coalition.

3) Without anaesthetic.

4) In public.

5) Then apologise.

6) And resign.


That might just do it.


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