Cameron pledges more bank bonuses and unregulated markets to tackle floods

Pride's Purge

(satire?)

A resolute David Cameron vowed to marshal the forces of supply and demand and unregulated financial services to tackle the flooding crisis, pledging a wider role for bankers and their unlimited bonuses to protect families from the threat of being made homeless by the rising flood waters.

The prime minister returned from visiting stricken communities in south-west England to hold a Downing Street press conference at which he pledged to provide unlimited financial incentives for foreign investors, tax breaks for millionaires and drastic cuts to emergency services who are dealing with the crisis:

“My message to the country today is this. Money is no object in this relief effort, whatever money is needed will be spent by us and our friends in the City. We will take whatever steps are necessary to ensure the money trickles down – eventually – to those in need“.

With many communities complaining about the lack…

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